The Artefact

It was longer from the front than from the back and weighed three times as much when you turned it upside down.  It’s centre of gravity was two feet below its base and walking around it took half an hour if you did it in a clockwise direction.  Description of its shape was best done with inverted commas.

It felt enthusiastic to the touch and smelled faintly of yellow. Sometimes, when no one was around, it would hum the theme to MacGuyver.

Despite being an inaminate ‘cube’ dug out of the crust of a dying Saturnian moon, it was never seen in public without a pair of silver Manolo Blahnik’s.  But most interestingly of all, if your tears were to fall on its surface, nothing would happen at all.