Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

QIYUF #7 – Fatal Hilarity
17 February, 2009

This episode of the goodies is the only TV show to kill someone through laughter.


Great Moments in Saturday Morning Cartoons # 4
11 February, 2009

Hanna Barbera, more than any other cartoon company, are responsible for Saturday morning cartoons. Why, do you ask? What about Disney and Warner Bros? Well, Saturday morning cartoons are cartoons for TV, not the cinema. Warner Bros and Disney made cartoons for the cinemas, and cinema cartoons, either being full length features or shorts that appear in sets alongside newsreels and serials were top notch quality stuff and expensive to make. By the time TV came established in the US, animation was something made exclusively for kids, and kids weren’t a very profitable market for TV until the 80s. Sure, now we worry about the ads kids watch during their cartoons, but people didn’t realise the power of the nag factor until the 80s. Before that, the prevailing notion was that animation was expensive, and for an audience that wasnt going to watch the ads.

Along comes William Hanna and Joseph Barbera who made Tom & Jerry for MGM until 1957, and then turned their minds to making cartoons for TV by making them cheaply. How did they do it? By making them shit. Crap jokes and plots, rehashed premises from movies and tv shows of the times (the Flintstone was just the Honeymooners in cavemen outfits) and shite shite animation.

It was a successful formula that held for most of the 60s. By the end of the 60s though, Hanna Barbera stretched their creative muscles and came up with a few ideas that were novel and worth watching, leading to a golden age of the 70s, with Scooby Doo, Johnny Quest, and a whole bunch of superhero cartoons that showed others that there was money to be made in Saturday Morning Cartoons. The unsavoury taste of cheap animation remained though until Batman came along in the early 90s and showed that a good saturday morning cartoon could be even more profitable than a crap one.

Bushfire Map
9 February, 2009

A map, constantly updated with CFA info made by Google.

Fairly useful at this time.

Conversations about the Melbourne Heatwave
7 February, 2009

ME: You know, if you didn’t quit meteorology, you could’ve done something about this weather.
FRIEND: It doesn’t work like that, Liam.
ME: Oh yes it does. You can’t fool me. I know what happens behind closed doors at the Department of Meteorology.
FRIEND: Sex orgies don’t change the weather.
ME: Mine do.
ME: That’s right. I’m like a chaos theory butterfly. When I fap, I cause hurricanes on the other side of the world.
FRIEND: Here we go.
ME: I call my penis ‘Stormbringer’.
FRIEND: Oh for christ’s sake….

Great Moments in Saturday Morning Cartoons #3
5 February, 2009

Ah He-Man, what a nostalgic pile of shit it was.  I watched this show fervently as a kid, but even then something didn’t stick right with me, and even though the theme song brings back memories, they’re not the same as I get from Transformers or Monkey Magic. It’s also the only intro in TV history that involves the main character talking to the audience, then punching them in the face.

Anyhoo, why is He-man such an important cartoon?  Because it was based on a toy line made by Mattel, and not the other way around.  I think that’s why I didn’t really like He-man, part fantasy, part sci fi, no explanation.  Something deep inside me realised it was a half arsed attempt to cash in, which it was.  Of course, when it became popular and sales of the toy line went gangbusters, every other show out there did pretty much the same thing; make action figure cartoons (how can you tell action figure cartoons?  The main characters all look the same except for one or two minor cosmetic changes, it means the toy makers have to spend less on casts.  GI-Joe’s 80s toy line was 3 casts, and 500 coats of paint.)
(P.S, I lied, I fucking loved this as a kid, and I hate myself for it now.)

3 February, 2009

Japanese Pizzas range from the ridiculous to the sublime.

Yes, that is a pasta pizza.

2 February, 2009

I like Guacamole.

The only thing I like more is saying it’s abbreviation.


Guac, Guac, Guac.


Great Moments in Saturday Morning Cartoons
29 January, 2009

After some of the most popular movies made in the late 80s and 90s, it was inevitable that a batman cartoon would be made. What people didn’t expect was that it’d be so bloody good. Bruce Timm decided to make a cartoon that captured the essence of the comic and movies, as opposed to a saturday morning cartoon that just used the characters from the comics (like superfriends did. Dear God, I hated that show).
This is actually quite a surprising thing, because the comics and movies were violent, and dark, and gritty. Admittedly, it wasn’t violent, dark and gritty like an show for adults, but it was for kids, and its style and substance was in stark contrast to every other show out there. Batman: The Animated Series was the first Saturday Morning Cartoon made in the US in 20 years to have guns in it. Actual guns. That’s how far from the days of Yosemite Sam banging off his pistols in every Looney Tunes episode US cartoons had come.
It was also the first cartoon to have a character shot in as much time as well.
It was a hit. It started the DC Animated Universe, leading to Superman and JLA, not to mention a whole bunch of other Batman cartoons, and is still, today, the benchmark by which all superhero, nay, action cartoons are based.

Two Jokes About Cows
27 January, 2009

Q: How do you hide a cow?
A: With Cow-Moo-Flage

Cow 1: This Mad Cow Disease thing’s pretty scary.
Cow 2: Doesn’t worry me. I’m a duck.

Great Moments in Saturday Morning Cartoons
25 January, 2009

Star Blazers (AKA Space Battleship Yamato) was the first Japanese soap opera epic to make its way into Saturday Morning Cartoon programming. What Star Blazers, and its spiritual successor Macross brought was long storylines, complex characters, desperate situations and well rounded bad guys.

Oh, and the Wave Motion Gun, which is, in my opinion, one of the greatest sci fi ideas ever: a gun so powerful that it shuts down the space ship’s defenses for short time after use, making it a risky strategy whenever it’s used. A great storytelling element b/c its mere use was always going to be a desperate gambit, and thus, it heightened the tension of the climax every episode it was used. Nail biting stuff.