Archive for February, 2009

QIYUF #7 – Fatal Hilarity
17 February, 2009

This episode of the goodies is the only TV show to kill someone through laughter.


Great Moments in Saturday Morning Cartoons # 4
11 February, 2009

Hanna Barbera, more than any other cartoon company, are responsible for Saturday morning cartoons. Why, do you ask? What about Disney and Warner Bros? Well, Saturday morning cartoons are cartoons for TV, not the cinema. Warner Bros and Disney made cartoons for the cinemas, and cinema cartoons, either being full length features or shorts that appear in sets alongside newsreels and serials were top notch quality stuff and expensive to make. By the time TV came established in the US, animation was something made exclusively for kids, and kids weren’t a very profitable market for TV until the 80s. Sure, now we worry about the ads kids watch during their cartoons, but people didn’t realise the power of the nag factor until the 80s. Before that, the prevailing notion was that animation was expensive, and for an audience that wasnt going to watch the ads.

Along comes William Hanna and Joseph Barbera who made Tom & Jerry for MGM until 1957, and then turned their minds to making cartoons for TV by making them cheaply. How did they do it? By making them shit. Crap jokes and plots, rehashed premises from movies and tv shows of the times (the Flintstone was just the Honeymooners in cavemen outfits) and shite shite animation.

It was a successful formula that held for most of the 60s. By the end of the 60s though, Hanna Barbera stretched their creative muscles and came up with a few ideas that were novel and worth watching, leading to a golden age of the 70s, with Scooby Doo, Johnny Quest, and a whole bunch of superhero cartoons that showed others that there was money to be made in Saturday Morning Cartoons. The unsavoury taste of cheap animation remained though until Batman came along in the early 90s and showed that a good saturday morning cartoon could be even more profitable than a crap one.

Bushfire Map
9 February, 2009

A map, constantly updated with CFA info made by Google.

Fairly useful at this time.

Conversations about the Melbourne Heatwave
7 February, 2009

ME: You know, if you didn’t quit meteorology, you could’ve done something about this weather.
FRIEND: It doesn’t work like that, Liam.
ME: Oh yes it does. You can’t fool me. I know what happens behind closed doors at the Department of Meteorology.
FRIEND: Sex orgies don’t change the weather.
ME: Mine do.
ME: That’s right. I’m like a chaos theory butterfly. When I fap, I cause hurricanes on the other side of the world.
FRIEND: Here we go.
ME: I call my penis ‘Stormbringer’.
FRIEND: Oh for christ’s sake….

Great Moments in Saturday Morning Cartoons #3
5 February, 2009

Ah He-Man, what a nostalgic pile of shit it was.  I watched this show fervently as a kid, but even then something didn’t stick right with me, and even though the theme song brings back memories, they’re not the same as I get from Transformers or Monkey Magic. It’s also the only intro in TV history that involves the main character talking to the audience, then punching them in the face.

Anyhoo, why is He-man such an important cartoon?  Because it was based on a toy line made by Mattel, and not the other way around.  I think that’s why I didn’t really like He-man, part fantasy, part sci fi, no explanation.  Something deep inside me realised it was a half arsed attempt to cash in, which it was.  Of course, when it became popular and sales of the toy line went gangbusters, every other show out there did pretty much the same thing; make action figure cartoons (how can you tell action figure cartoons?  The main characters all look the same except for one or two minor cosmetic changes, it means the toy makers have to spend less on casts.  GI-Joe’s 80s toy line was 3 casts, and 500 coats of paint.)
(P.S, I lied, I fucking loved this as a kid, and I hate myself for it now.)

3 February, 2009

Japanese Pizzas range from the ridiculous to the sublime.

Yes, that is a pasta pizza.

2 February, 2009

I like Guacamole.

The only thing I like more is saying it’s abbreviation.


Guac, Guac, Guac.