Recipe: Communist Salsa

Ingredients

1x avocado diced

Quarter of a red onion, diced finely

1x Tomato, seeded and diced

Tablespoon of Coriander, finely diced.

Lime Juice

Tabasco Sauce

Recipe:

1. Initiate a grass roots movement.  Organise meetings, copy and propagate communist propaganda, start an underground newspaper.  Should you live under an authoritarian, totalitarian or dictatorial government, it may be necessary to start underground cells, with each acting independently of the other.

2. Bring the movement to the people.  Organise rallies, begin a graffiti or other underground media campaign.  If you can, hijack a mass media broadcaster, like a tv-station or radio station.

3. Undertake a systematic campaign of sabotage and targeted assassinations.  Make sure to target those people or institutions whose collapse will best exemplify to the people the weakness and evil of capitalism.

4. While undertaking such a campaign, provide to the people who will suffer under the downfall of capitalism with the essentials to life. Do so alongside a campaign of communist propaganda so those who receive food hand outs will do so knowing it is the result of the International Workers Movement.  You will find this to be an easier thing to do during a time of war or economic downturn than during times of peace and prosperity.

5.  Once the majority, (or a large and highly active section), of the population is behind the cause, storm the seats of government and undertake a Kangaroo court with summary executions of the ruling class and/or royal family. It may be necessary to gain the support and/or overtake the military and police before doing so.

6. Hunt down all opposition and crack down on any dissent with an Iron Fist.

7. Now that you have control of the gears of government, seize all property in the name of the glorious revolution.  Collectivise farms, socialise essential social institutions and framework.  Make sure to keep up and maintain the systematic attack on any and all opposition.  Should you have wiped out all enemies of state, invent some.

8. Build a large military regime and invade your neighbours.  Utilising the domino theory, your enemies and all other countries will fall one by one.

9.  Once the worker’s dream has been acheived, make sure to dismantle the centralised power structure by which the revolution had been acheived.  The last thing you want is an oppressive government as bad or worse as the one you replaced!

10. Mix all ingredients together until lime juice covers all ingredients evenly.  Serve on tortillas or toast. For a more hearty meal, mixed with a can of flavoured tuna.

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