Archive for August, 2008

An Exercise in labels.
30 August, 2008

Right, turn off the part of your brain which thinks like an individual and think like society in general. The bit that has interesting conversations about the definition of X or the role of X or the deconstruction of X, tell it to fuck off for a short while.

Now, take the broad approach to definitions and concepts and labels and just look at the world around you.  Be UNCRITICAL, and then start labelling stuff.

What’s girly? What’s manly? What’s cool? What’s nerdy? who’s beautiful? what’s interesting? what’s not interesting?

And then, when you turn your brain back on, you realise how you’ve divided the world. It is better or worse this way?  probably a bit of both, really, but that’s the critical part of my brain avoiding labels.  the uncritical part of me thinks it’s kinda gay.

Johnny Walker Blue Label: A review
28 August, 2008

It smelt of three play dough left out in the sun for too long, and had a colour like urine mixed with water.  It tasted like nothing.

Some whiskeys aim to be light, and soft on the pallet (A good thing, considering the first thing any whiskey drinker learns is how to ignore the burning, throat gagging sensation you get from drinking the stuff), but Blue goes through light flavours and out the other side, into a realm where you wonder why the hell you spent so much on the stuff in the first place.

Generally, the more expensive whiskey gets, the more exciting the damn stuff is, with each glass a god damn experiment in getting the mix of water/ice and the water-of-life right.  This though, was barely there.  It didnt even have the traditional ashtray used as filter notes that most scotch seems to revel in as a mark of pride.

My advice: buy Middleton’s Reserve – the Jameson’s equivalent.  Strong, robust and with end notes that make you jump up and go ‘that’s apricot! what the fuck is apricot doing in my whiskey?!?’ before punching you in the tongue and wallet and letting you enjoy the dark haze of a night spent scrounging for small change to buy pissweak cheaparse beer b/c you’ve spent it on something good .

Rating: 2 stars out of 5 for disappointment.

Prose.
27 August, 2008

She wore stage jewellery and around her neck, with a faded faux kashmere shawl covering her shoulders. 

She pulled the shawl tight against her chest, bringing her shoulders, both too large and too frail, into stark relief, giving her a sense of vulnerability that she refused to show on her face.

I looked at her as she walked by, a woman who drew strength from the facade she showed to the world, and all the more beautiful for it, but she never saw me stare, or never acknowledged it.

Probably the latter, knowing her.

An Affair
26 August, 2008

The phone rang.  ‘I’ll get it,’ she said, slipping out of bed.  Sitting there, watching her go, he was reminded once again that it was his best friend’s house, his best friend’s bed, and his best friend’s wife.

“Who was it?” He asked when she returned.

“My husband.” She replied, “He’ll be late.  He’s playing golf with you.”

How bout that
25 August, 2008

Turns out, cockfighting involves chickens.

Boy was I embarassed.

I won though.

Dreams
24 August, 2008

When you sleep, your mind defrags.  It goes through your memories, plays them back and stores them. Thing is, you dont just have one kind of memory.  Physical, visual, olfactory, emotional, etc, are all different kinds of memory, even then they get stored differently – your visual memory might store colours in one way, faces in another, movement in a third way and they all unwind and get stored at a different rate, which is why you have weird dreams in which you feel like you’re falling, and then you see your mum, but she’s purple, and smiling and you were reeally happy and then scared but only once you smelt the cooked chicken, which was weird b/c you dont remember there being any cooked chicken ……

Restaurant Review
23 August, 2008

the restaurant was simple and unassuming, not a hint of pretentiousness about it, and it had been around for so long that it attracted a great army of customers, from the university students whose eyes boggle at the size of the portions for the price, to the elderly immigrant grandmothers, who meet there regularly to eat food that remind them of home, all adding the warm buzz and frantic atmosphere that adds more than it detracts to the ambience of the place.  The food and price, along with the great atmosphere and good service all combine to make it almost impossible to get nauseous when you find an earwig in your salt and pepper squid.

The linguist
22 August, 2008

The tribe of lost moscow university students who lived beneath a super computer and spoke only in l33t wasnt that scary to the linguist until he realised the tribes deaf members spoke only in emoticons.

Modern Magic
20 August, 2008

The Energy Drink Elemental was summoned to fight the dark god of Pirated Online Content.  It spat guarana and would go all night long, but the POC god was legion. It lived on a million servers and in the flash drives of a billion people, worshipped over and over with every p2p established. It was anonymous, hidden, decentralised and overpowered the bull shaped monster with ease. 

The fashion police looked on in fear, their hired mage eXtReEm cowered in the corner until his head was wiped clear off to faint sounds of a John Denver Tupac Mashup.  The POC god shuffled closer, and their fate was sealed.

Were they hot?

They were not.

Watch Media Watch.
19 August, 2008

No particular writings today, just thought I’d promote my favourite show on TV.